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It just struck me the other week how baffling it is that I as of yet haven’t invested in an portable MP3 player. Me of all people. It’s not that I don’t know how to use it, that I don’t have any MP3 files (my collection is legendary if you will), that I don’t need one (my Sony D-EJ620 Walkman is on its last leg) or that I can’t afford one.
But here are my gripes with MP3 players, not that I’m the first to point it out but I feel compelled to underline a few shortcomings since most people aren’t so mindful.
- Too Small The first time I came in contact with an MP3 player I didn’t know what to say. I ensured the proud owner that he had made a good deal and went out of my way to make up reasons why it was so great, not to hurt his feelings. But all along all I could think of was what a plastic and ugly little user-unfriendly thing it was. Like mobile phones, these devices have shrunk to a level where those of us with manly hands and who often use gloves can no longer operate them.
- Too Expensive Considering what they are, i.e. portable audio, players are sadly overpriced. I paid like $80 for my Sony Walkman when it was hot and even given the extra cost of internal memory (but fewer moving parts) $2-400 players are just not justified.
- Battery, Output, Interface Players must have replaceable batteries and batteries that can be charged in the unit. Players have far too little playing time per charge. USB speeds are generally too low, even with USB2 interface. On top of this most players can’t power a decent pair of headphones.
- Design Lets face it, most players look like toys, and indeed they are. The rest look like women’s accessories or something really gay. Plastic is king and for all that I know it could have been papier-mâché.
- Memory Too little or too much. You can’t get by with 256MB and even though 40GB would be nice, the battery life, lifespan and operating requirements (like humidity, shock) of hard drive players are not too optimistic.
I saw this one player a while back that could have qualified. Maybe. Except for the fact that it is only sold in Korea. And even though the exterior is dead on, I suspect that it is far too small for my liking. I want something that I can operate in the dark, in the middle of the woods and in the rain.
But at least prices have started to drop to tolerable levels.
Bottom line is that I feel oppressed. As if fashion and trends are designed somehow to make my life miserable. As if my analytic ability is being trampled upon by a bunch of sissy and uninformed peasants backed up by vain, and probably gay, designers. This is as far as I see it no more than a first brick in the wall of the downfall of modern society. Where ignorance rules and is in fact unlike ever before rewarded.
